Howell, MI, USA

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  • The Honest Mom

5 Things That Don't Make You A Bad Mom


We've all been there...

That feeling of judgement...from yourself mostly, but others also... You did something "wrong", or your kid did something they "shouldn't have".

Those are the moments that make us feel like we are bad Moms.

We are totally not bad Moms. You'd have to really try hard to truly be a bad Mom. Never think otherwise.

I hate how easy it is to doubt myself as a Mom, or to think I'm not good at "Momming". It's fueled by mean girl Moms (ugh, the worst!) and old crotchety people who feel high and mighty just because their kids survived their childhoods. They easily forget the moments that they felt the exact same way we all do now.

#endrant.

Either way, the point is that there is a laundry list of things that don't make you a bad Mom. These are the things that make us feel like we are, but I'm here to tell you, that's bullshit. You are an awesome Mom whether these things happen or not.

Here they are:

1. When your kid causes a scene in public

THIS HAPPENS TO ME EVERY FREAKING DAY...Olivia cannot go ANYWHERE without causing some sort of shenanigans.. I swear she's an evil genius and she just knows exactly when and where to lose her shit and make me feel like I have no control whatsoever over my child. Honestly though, at this point I'm not even phased when she throws down... I've been desensitized to the scenario...People give me dirty looks, you know, the ones that say, "get control of your kid"... but I just don't care anymore. Olivia is one. She doesn't even fully comprehend that she's causing a scene. Some things are just out of your control as a parent, and this is one of them. Don't let other people make you feel like you're an inferior parent just because your child isn't a perfect prim and proper being. If anything, you deserve a freaking medal for going out and braving the unknown with your wild little one!

2. Feeding your kid a cookie for dinner because they won't eat anything else

I completely respect and appreciate the parents that only give their kids all natural and organic foods. I wish I could do that for my child....but you know what? Sometimes my kid is picky. Sometimes she throws every fruit, veggie, or meat option I give her on the floor. Sometimes I feed her Cheetos and cookies, not because I'm thrilled with the nutritional value, but because I need my kid to eat something, and if it's not gonna be a healthy option, it's gotta be something else. That does not make me a bad Mom...not in the slightest. At the end of the day, as Moms we have to do whatever it takes to ensure our kids are thriving.

3. Not having your child on a schedule

I cannot tell you how many people think I'm crazy because I don't have Olivia on a schedule. I'd call what we have more like a lose routine. Olivia still takes naps and goes to bed in a certain time frame, but its more of a guide than a routine. I know many Moms that stick to a strict schedule with their kiddos, and that's amazing that they can do that, but I don't want a schedule to determine our lives. I want flexibility and freedom. As long as whatever schedule/routine works for your family, that is all that matters.

4. Breastfeeding VS. Formula

I could spend DAYS talking about this hot topic, but I'm going to keep it short and sweet. Breastfeeding is amazing. I loved breastfeeding, and I tried so hard to sustain it, but I just couldn't. My supply was ridiculously low, no matter how many teas, cookies, and supplements I tried. I ended up having to give it up after 5 months. I felt like a total failure. The truth is that some Moms just can't do it, and that's okay. Formula is such a great option. Your kiddo will still be healthy and happy either way you go. A full belly is all that matters. If you can't breastfeed, or if you simply don't want too, that is your choice. Don't let anyone tell you any differently.

5. When your child has an accident

Accidents happen. SHOCKER. Children are prone to accidents, simply because they don't know any better. That is how they learn. Accidents do not make bad parents. If anything, they make great parents, because we have to remain calm and collected in sticky situations. Olivia fell down the stairs a few months ago and I could have absolutely lost my shit. Instead, I remained calm, checked Olivia for injuries (there were none, thank God), and soothed her until she was okay. Of course in my own head I was freaking out, but I didn't let Olivia see it. Panic only insights more panic. Moments like this prove that you're a good Mom, not a bad Mom.

There is so much judgement these days. It's toxic and pointless. Who benefits from being judgmental? If we all spent our time being positive as opposed to negative, can you imagine what a better place the world would be? We put enough pressure on ourselves to be the "perfect" parent, we don't need bystanders putting in their two cents.

Just always remember that as long as your kiddo is happy and healthy, you're doing alright.

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