5 things I want my daughter to know
I think being a woman is pretty freaking bad ass.
This is crazy for me to actually admit, but when I was younger (I'd say from middle school up until right before I had Olivia), I actually used to resent being a girl... I mean we have it so damn hard... We are pitted against other females from the very beginning... We have to go through HORRENDOUS things like periods, child birth, and menopause...We face ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS and unattainable standards of perfection and beauty...It's a tough world out there, and above all else, I want my daughter to be prepared for it.
Obviously I can only impart so much wisdom on Olivia, there are certain things she will unfortunately have to learn the hard way, just like I did...but, here are 5 important things I really want her to know as she grows into a woman.
1. You Determine Your Own Worth
No one else gets to decide how valuable you are. If someone tries to tell you that you don't matter, or that you're not important, tell them they're full of crap. One of my favorite sayings is, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt). I honestly believe this to be true. Let others talk. Let them critique you. Let them say whatever they want to say. At the end of the day, YOU determine how you let other people's words effect you. It's hard sometimes, to be tough and ignore negativity, but once you pull yourself up above it, none of it really matters. Those empty words mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of your life. You hold all the cards. Don't let someone fool you into thinking otherwise. From the very beginning of time, every single little action and event has led to your existence. You are here for a reason, and that means something. That is WORTH something. Never forget that.
2. Don't Feel Confined To What You Think Is Expected Of You
Never make choices based on what you think other people expect or want you to do. Don't go to college just because everyone else you know is going. Don't get married because you're afraid to be alone. Don't have kids just because you feel like that is what you're supposed to do at a certain stage of your life. Want to go to a trade school? Do it. Want to learn from experience instead of a text book? Go for it. Marriage isn't for you? No shame in your bachelorette game. Don't want to go through child birth? Adopt, or don't have kids. You DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO. That is the beauty of it. This is your life. You're in the driver's seat. You control your own destiny. Don't live your life for other people. Life is far too painfully short to not live your best life.
3. You Always Have The Power To Change Your Own Circumstances
Please, never give up. If an outcome isn't what you wanted, keep working on it. It's not the end if it's not what you want. The story might not be over yet. There might be more to the journey to get to the outcome that you want. Sometimes it can be so easy to just give up and accept something that you don't want, but please try not to do that. The moment you start being content is the moment you stop truly living. Never let that fire inside your soul die out. Let it burn and push you to the circumstances and the life that you want. If you believe you can obtain it, you can do anything.
4. How You Feel About Yourself Is More Important Than How Anyone Else Feels About You
Always know that you are special. No one on this planet is the same as you. We are all different human beings, even twins have their own set of qualities and traits. You are unique and amazing in your own ways. Don't let anyone dictate how you feel about yourself. They don't know you the way you know yourself. They might not recognize the beauty and wonderment of who you are, and that's okay, because you will probably never understand the beauty and wonderment of who they are. As long as you recognize who you are, and mutually respect who everyone else is, that is all that matters.
5. Happiness Is Number One
Above all else, strive for true happiness in life. Nothing else matters. If you aren't truly happy, money and things don't matter. Family matters. Friends matter. Love matters. Life is meaningless without these things. Find the thing (or person, or place) that sets your soul on fire. Find the thing that excites you in life. Chase the dream you've created in your heart for yourself. Make your time on this earth matter, how ever it matters most to you.
What do you want your daughter to know?