Howell, MI, USA

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  • The Honest Mom

My Husband is an Amazing Dad, but this Habit has got to End.

I feel like a dick for posting about this, but I'd really like some honest opinions. Give me the good, the bad, and the ugly...Brutal honesty.


As I type this, I am laying in my bed in the pitch black dark of my room whilst listening to my toddler scream at the top of her lungs from her bedroom. I can hear her stomping her feet repeatedly and making as much noise as humanly possible to get my attention. Screaming bloody murder. I'm actually a little impressed with how high of a note she can hit while screaming. This is almost an hour into putting her to bed.

Why is she having a f*cking mental breakdown you ask? Because dear old Dad has groomed my child to have a time consuming and ridiculously annoying bedtime ritual. A ritual that now must be carried out in full every single night whether my husband is home or not....Spoiler alert, he's not here...


Let me throw out some background info. Set the scene a little more..


My husband works very odd hours. His job is in advertising, which means his schedule changes on the fly. He never knows how late he will be or if he'll need to work weekends. As a result of this type of schedule, my husband doesn't see our kiddo as much as he'd like. With that being said though, my husband is also the best freaking Dad ever. He works a stressful job all day, then comes home and immediately starts playing with our kiddo. Sometimes he even skips dinner because he wants to spend as much time as possible with her before bed. It's the sweetest thing. Ugh, it tears me up because I literally want to kiss him and punch him in the face at the same time. Why you gotta be such a super Dad?! Why you killing me with this impossible and asinine bedtime routine?!


Okay, so back to the current situation..

My husband LOVES bedtime. We used to put our kiddo to bed together, but after awhile, my child decided that Mommy wasn't needed for bedtime... (it was devastating at first, but I have so much more free time so...🤷‍♀️)


Because of this, I didn't really realize how the bedtime routine was evolving and becoming such a bad habit. I knew that my husband would read our little chick a story. I knew that he would turn on the ceiling projector light. I knew he would turn on her Baby Einstein music machine. I knew they "snuggled".

What I didn't know, was that "snuggle time" consisted of hugs, kisses, and then my husband literally lays across my child's toddler bed, on top of her legs, until she falls asleep. And if my kiddo wakes when my husband tries to escape, he goes right back into the room and lays there once more, until my child is finally in a deep sleep.


When I first discovered this process, I thought it was freaking adorable. How sweet. They have this cute little Daddy/Daughter bonding thing together. But now, as I listen to the high pitch screeching of a violently pissed off toddler, I don't find it so cute anymore.

My husband isn't home tonight. Bedtime came, and I decided I'd give the bedtime routine a shot. I turned on the ceiling projector. I turned on the Baby Einstein. I made my little princess cozy with all her blankets and stuffed animals. I rubbed her forehead and laid with her for what seemed like forever ( in reality it was probably like 15 minutes).


I watched closely as my kiddos eyes started to close. After they stayed closed for a while I began my evacuation from her room. I utilized my stealthy ninja skills to slowly peel my body parts from the bed. I got completely off the bed and held my breath. Ah, yes. She's still asleep.


I crept in slow motion towards the door. The exit was in sight. I was almost in the clear. I literally just got my ass into the hallway and hear, "MAMA! MAMA!" damn it. Does this kid have a freaking sixth sense or something?


I roll my eyes and return to my spot next to her bed. Lay with her again. Try to escape again. I repeat this horrific cycle 3 times. Each time cursing my husband's name and becoming more and more pissed off.

When all is said and done it's after 10PM. I'm annoyed and over it. I decide to just let her watch TV in bed until she passes out. (Creating another bad habit to get rid of the original bad habit makes total sense 🤷‍♀️)


And now I'm stewing. I'm so frustrated. I honestly don't know what the right thing is. My husband has created a really bad habit. I mean, is he going to have to "snuggle" every night until our kid is married?!? And beyond that, how the hell am I supposed to handle the nights that he isn't home. I'm clearly not equipped to handle bedtime. Clearly my kid isn't a fan of Mommy bedtime.


I also feel super terrible trying to take this away from him. My husband LIVES for that one-on-one time with his little girl. I totally appreciate that this is their thing...but at what point does it become too much? Maybe they can find some other way to have special time? I have no idea... which is why I'm asking you...


What should I do? Make Daddy snuggles come to a sad end? Let the bedtime routine happen and just accept the backlash when Daddy isn't home? Should I try to create my own special Mommy bedtime? I want to know what questionable habits your kiddos have and what you've done about them.


Until then, I'll be hiding in the dark in my room, listening to the sweet sound of over utilized toddler vocal cords...