Appointments With Toddlers: What Nightmares Are Made Of
Olivia's 15 month pediatrician appointment was 2 weeks ago.
It has literally taken me two full weeks to recover from the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder the whole ordeal gave me.
I laugh as I write this because I wrote a post a few months ago called, The Look of Betrayal, where I gave a recap of the horror I felt taking Olivia to her 9 month appointment.
If only I knew back then that I would now consider that appointment to be a total breeze..
First off, entertaining a naked toddler in a tiny exam room for 30 minutes while you wait for the doctor is excruciating. especially when you're trying to keep your kid from touching all the things in the room that you know have not been sanitized (The trash, drawer handles, the floor, the chairs....pretty much everything except for the white table paper...).
It was a shit show. Finally after 20 minutes or so of trying to occupy her with snacks, her tablet, and toys, I said screw it and let her touch whatever her crazy little heart desired. No time like the present to build up that immune system right?
Secondly, by the time the doctor did enter the room, my child was so freaking over it that she would not cooperate AT ALL. I swear I sweat more during the 60 minutes we were in that office than the last time I went to the gym.
As I held Olivia still for the exam, I just kept thinking how this doctor probably thinks I have no Mothering skills because my kid is a total spaz.
After the exam, the pediatrician went through the whole spiel about what Olivia should be doing milestone wise and asking all the necessary questions about her development. As she spoke I went through the checklist in my head, and felt like the BIGGEST failure ever. Olivia is just BARELY meeting her learning and speaking milestones. She also still depends heavily on her pacifier. We also give her too many bottles of milk.
Worst. Mom. Ever.
At least that's how I felt. I mean jeeze, if I wanted to sweat that much and feel that emotionally defeated I would've just went to the gym and then weighed myself after with the expectation that in that single gym session I'd lose 50 pounds.
Thirdly, the shots...Hell, after all of that emotional brow beating, the shots were a breeze...well, I'm sure Olivia didn't think so, but for me at least... After the whole fiasco I wondered who was hurting more, Olivia or I?
The appointment FINALLY ended, and I put Olivia's clothes back on. I gathered all the toys and treats scattered around the room, and we exited the torture chamber (I mean exam room) to head to check out.
After checking out and hesitantly scheduling her next torturous visit, we exited back into the waiting room. I breathed a sigh of relief, and without even thinking twice, I looked at the new Mom sitting in front of me and said to her, "Girl, it only gets worse after this." I swear the baby had to be just days old. She laughed nervously back at me as I tried to minimize what I had just uttered. "I'm totally kidding, but really though, is 10:30 AM too early for wine?"
Someone please tell me that these appointments actually get easier.
Someone please tell me that they feel the exact same way.
Obviously I know that I'm not the worst Mom ever, but damn... Those appointments really make you question it...
Welp, might as well start preparing for the 18 month visit in October...