10 Ways To Keep It Together When You're Losing Your Sh*t
I think an essential (but not desired) part of Mom life is the feeling that you're completely losing your sh*t. Now I don't know about you, but I experience that feeling A LOT. Most of us will experience it at some point, and a select few of us will become experts in the art of "shit losing".
I don't want to brag, but I like to think of myself as a "shit storm expert". So much so, that I've created my own little system to keep myself together. I like to think that I'm at a point where I can stay calm and cool under pressure, but I guess you'll have to try my tips and be the judge!
Without further adieu, here are my 10 tips to keep it together, when you think you're going to lose your shit:
Okay... Now I know you're thinking, "Really? Breathing? Life changing tip..." But seriously... Sometimes I get so overwhelmed and frustrated, I literally forget to breathe. Deep breathing is not only a good way to relax yourself, but doing it for a few minutes will also buy you some time to calm your ass down before you do something you'll regret...trust me... I know from experience...
2. Create Positive Affirmations To Repeat
Once you become a Mom, I feel like talking to yourself becomes second nature. Mostly because 9 times out of 10 our families don't listen to us when we're talking anyways, but I often find myself giving my soul a little pep talk when things get a little sticky. What I tell myself varies depending on the situation, but more times than not, my pep talks include building myself up with "You are a bad ass chick", or "I've got this", or even "please don't lose your shit, you're too young for a life in prison"... Honestly, it doesn't even matter what you tell yourself, but any positive thoughts repeated will help calm you down and make you feel more secure in the moment. That's what it's all about, getting yourself through the tough moments so you can pull yourself together.
3. Breathe Some More
I'm not kidding... Keep breathing... deep, long, calming breaths... Go in the bathroom, hell, go in a closet if you have to... Anywhere that you can escape to get a moment to yourself to just sit or stand and breathe. I've hidden in some pretty ridiculous places, my daughters little play tent for example, and it really helps to just separate yourself from the situation for a few minutes. Sometimes that can make all the difference.
4. Find The Silver Lining
This can be tricky sometimes, but it is absolutely vital! When you feel like life is continuously crapping on you, you've got to find the silver lining. For instance, the other day Olivia got THE WORST diarrhea EVER. This child pooped more in 30 minutes than the past week. Crap was everywhere, literally. It was horrible, and I was frustrated, mostly because I couldn't figure out what was causing it, but I had to find the positives. Those positives being that above all else, my baby is alive and healthy, and at least now I have an excuse to get the carpets professionally cleaned... No matter how bad things get, there is always a silver lining.
5. Throw Your Life Raft To Your Mom Friends
Sometimes all you really need is a good vent sesh. Mom friends are some of the most important people you'll ever have in your life. They are your soul sisters. Fellow Moms just get it. My Mom friends don't think I'm being dramatic when I'm bitching about all the dirty dishes in the sink. They don't panic when I say I want to punch my kid, because they know I don't mean literally. It sounds cliche, but there really are things that people can't understand unless they are a Mom. When I feel like I just can't deal, my first call is to my Mom pals. They validate my feelings and calm my soul. If you don't have any Mom friends, message me. Seriously. Every Mom needs a Mom friend. I believe it is ABSOLUTELY vital to our mental health. Message me any time, literally, I am always here for you. Shesthehonestmom@gmail.com or message me on my facebook page, www.facebook.com/shesthehonestmom
6. Do Something That Is Only For You
As a Mom it can be easy to lose your identity. You get caught up in butt wiping, feeding, playing...and sometimes you forget you're more than just a Mom. When I feel like I'm about to lose my shit, I throw myself into a project I love. I went for a while without a hobby that was truly my own...I felt very disconnected and unfulfilled. Starting this blog changed my life. Now I feel empowered and excited for things. I have a direction and a cause. All Moms need something that is strictly their own.... A hobby or a talent.... Something they can put energy into. Being a Mom is fulfilling, but having your own jam is what it's all about. Being a human above all, then being a Mom.
7. Drink The Wine (Or Whatever Your Beverage Of Choice Is)
There is nothing better than putting my little one to bed, then lounging on the couch with a glass of wine... ugh... I get the feels just thinking about it now! After a hard day, do whatever helps you decompress. Take a long hot bath, drink a glass of wine, read a book, write a blog post...whatever helps you find your mellow, do that. We spend so much time as Mothers pushing down our own feelings for the benefit of others. Let those emotions out after a long day, which ever way suits you best.
8. Find Your Outlet
It's an old familiar feeling... The one that starts as a pit in my gut... Stress and anxiety... I can feel it building...I am about to lose my shit. When this feeling strikes I know I need to find an outlet, ASAP. For some people it's screaming, for others it's crying... Me? I like to listen to the loudest, most intense music I can find. It just takes my anxiety away. I can't explain it. It might even sound bizarre...But the point is to find whatever outlet works for you. Get all that negative energy out.
9. Ask For Help
I was never this person. My whole life I have prided myself on being this bad ass, independent female... which I still am...obviously...but, if becoming a Mom has taught me anything, it's that sometimes you have to ask for help. No one can be perfect all the time. No one on the planet has all the answers. We all need help sometimes, and we shouldn't be afraid or ashamed to ask for it.
10. Breathe Some More & Hug Your Kids
Yeah, yeah, yeah... we're back to the whole breathing thing.. But I promise it helps. What helps more? Hugging your kids. I spent almost an hour going back and forth with Olivia over her wanting to play with the Television Remote...An hour of her screaming and yelling... I was at my wits end. I picked her up and hugged her. I closed my eyes and reminded myself who she is... My little baby....And while she can be the BIGGEST psychopath on the planet, she is still my little girl, and I love her above all else.
Here's to not losing our shit.