The Look of Betrayal.

....It's that time again...

Olivia has her 9 month visit with the pediatrician on Friday.

I don't know about all you other moms out there, but I've quickly learned that as my little one gets older, the doctors visits go less and less smoothly...ESPECIALLY the visits that include shots...

I feel like Olivia just knows now.. like she has this sixth sense once we get into the treatment room that "shit is about to get real". She holds onto me for dear life, and I literally have to peel her sad little fingers off of me to lay her on the treatment table.

As if that's not enough to rip my heart out, once the medical assistant gets her in the ready position, Olivia just looks up at me with this INTENSE look of betrayal....

IT IS THE WORST THING EVER.

Once it's all over, and Olivia has her super cool My Little Pony band aids, the horror of what just occurred passes and she is totally over it... I, on the other hand, am definitely not over it... My guilt lingers for the rest of the day, which causes me to allow Olivia to do basically whatever she wants for the rest of the day so I can feel like a "good" mom again...whatever that even means...

That brought me to my next thought....Olivia gets the shots and then gets the cool band aids and the lollipop, but what do the moms get? After all that internal guilt and struggle, why don't we get something to minimize the blow? I'd be game for the front office gals to hand me an airplane shot liquor bottle for my troubles...Something I can go home and pull myself together with...

Am I right?!?!?