Mom's Night Out

Olivia is almost 10 months old, and this mama has NEVER had a Mom's night out... This weekend I finally changed that, and let me tell you,

IT. WAS. AMAZING.

....but terrible....

Let me back up and start from the beginning...

A few months back I got invited to a coworkers' wedding. My husband had a camping trip planned with his buddies for the same weekend, so I had the excellent idea to make it a Mom's night out with my super mom gal pal/sister in law. I went all out! I arranged a babysitter for the night, booked a hotel room with a shuttle to the wedding, made an appointment to get my hair done, and bought a new dress.

I looked forward to this night out for months! The thought of taking a night off from motherhood and being my own human being and only being responsible for taking care of myself sounded so freaking refreshing; and it was.

The day started perfectly. I went and got my hair done, packed my bags and headed out to pick up my sister in law. The wedding ceremony was great, but after it ended I knew the night would be one to remember! We checked into the hotel and headed to the reception ready to party!

The drinks began to flow, and it was so freeing! I knew Olivia was being taken care of at home and I was able to really relax and enjoy myself outside of "mom mode". I had such a blast.

By 11 pm my sister in law and I were so ready to head back to the hotel to crash. Although it was our night of freedom, our sleep schedules were still in baby mode!

Back at the hotel we got cleaned up and hopped into our beds. We laughed and joked for a bit about the evening, and watched the Sex in the City movie on TV before finally crashing for the night. As I laid in bed for the night all these feelings that I had been pushing down all night came to the surface..

Damn.. I missed my baby.. I miss her so much.. I missed playing with her. I missed feeding her. I missed snuggling with her. I missed putting her to bed and saying good night. It was so sad..

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!

This was supposed to be my night of freedom! This was not supposed to happen! I barely slept through the night. I was up bright and early at 6 am (Olivia's normal wake up time) the next morning ready to go see Olivia. I missed her so much it physically hurt.

Is this motherhood? Is this what happens once you love a tiny human more than you love yourself? As much as you want your freedom, or your "night away", the moment you get it you want to change your mind and forget yourself and just be with your babies?

I got home and was so unbelievably happy to see my sweet little girl. She was so happy to see me, it just made everything right with the world.

I never realized just how things would change after having children. How you become secondary to this little person, and although sometimes you might complain about it, you wouldn't want it any other way.

Other mamas feel me on this?