Nothing Lasts Forever
I had a realization this morning...
Olivia woke up at the butt crack of dawn, so naturally she was ready for her first nap of the day by 7 am (which will SUCK for the rest of our days schedule, but what's motherhood without a little flexibility right?).... I took her up to her room and tried to lay her down in her crib, but she was fighting it like hell... Finally, I picked her up out of the crib and wrapped a blanket around her and decided to sit in the rocking chair with her...
As I sat there, I thought about how long it had been since I had sat there last... Olivia has been going to bed on her own for the last month or two, so we don't really rock her to sleep anymore... In that moment I felt Olivia relaxing, and I realized that she had finally fallen asleep in my arms.
Then it hit me... This phase of our life is almost over... Olivia is not going to be a baby forever... She will be a little girl with her own hopes and dreams... She will be a woman with goals and aspirations... Then one day she might be a wife and a mom, just like me... and that blows my mind...
I'm so excited for the future, but it is so sad at the same time to say goodbye to this time in our life... I just thought she'd be a little baby forever I guess...
So I sat there.
Bawling my face off.
Rocking back and forth.
As Olivia slept soundly.
I honestly don't even know how long I sat up there...It was like time just stopped, and I was trying to make a mental note everything... The way she felt in my arms, how sweet she looked, the little noises she was making...I just wanted to remember every single detail.
I know that I will have this all again when I have another baby...But Olivia was the first... The one who changed me for the better...The one who taught me how to be a Mom... That is something so special that I will never, ever experience again.
I just hope that I can teach her to be a good human being. A kind, considerate, compassionate, intelligent human being, who wants to be good, and do good.
I just want her to be better than me.
Any other Mama's realizing that nothing lasts forever?