An Open Letter To My Daughter On Her First Birthday

I slept terribly last night.... It was finally sinking in that you're turning one today....

Your dad and I laid in bed last night and talked about all the things we love about you. We talked about our favorite memories from this past year, and our favorite things that you do. I love how you give kisses with your mouth wide open like you're trying to eat someone's face off, and Dad loves how you shriek and laugh when you get excited.

One of my favorite memories of your first year was when we packed you into the car for the first time and drove 30 minutes to the nearest Sonic restaurant because I was craving a coconut cream pie milkshake...it's such a silly memory to be my favorite, but it just felt so new, and terrifying, and fun. You were like a week old, and we still had no clue what we were doing (we still don't!)...I just remember in that moment feeling like the possibilities were endless, and our new life was going to be such an adventure...and it is....

I can honestly tell you, that before I had you, I NEVER imagined myself being a mom...I DID NOT think kids were for me, and I was never the "mothering" type. I was incredibly unsympathetic and blunt. I was so engrossed in work and money and things. I was so out of touch with emotions and family and love. All I cared about was getting to the next level and I didn't care what it took. I can't tell you how many people probably freaked out when they found out I was pregnant... Me?!?! BE A MOM?!?!?! TERRIFYING...seriously though...

Because of you, I have become the person I have always wanted to be. I've been so humbled. I've experienced real and unwavering love. I've learned to get in touch with my "motherly" side (yes, I just said "motherly" side). And while I've still got a long way to go, I've reached a place in my life where I feel like I finally fit. You, your dad, and I....and of course our puppy, Lily...we just fit...and it is perfection...

Thank you for being exactly what I needed, at the exact time I needed you.

It is so crazy how I can see parts of your dad and I in you already. You are a TOTAL ham for attention, just like your dad! (You're going to hear that a lot in your lifetime) And girlfriend.... I am so terrified to tell you that you've definitely inherited your bravery and sassiness from me...

I'm so excited to watch you turn into the beautiful human being I know that you will be. I can't wait to teach you everything that I can, and just know that making mistakes makes you a better person. Never be afraid to go after what you want, and never minimize yourself just because you feel like you have to.

I know that you will chase your dreams more fiercely than I ever could, because you're already a better person than I could ever be.

I love you more than you'll ever know Olivia Grace. Happy birthday my sweet girl.

Love always,

Mom

(I'm going to go bawl my face off now...)

😉