Just A No Good, Very Bad Day
Having a bad day blows.
It doesn't matter if you're a working Mom or a stay at home Mom, bad days are the absolute worst.
In fact, I feel like bad days get even worse after you become a Mom. They are even harder now because at the end of the day you feel such a loss. Instead of being in the moment and savoring the time with your little one, you feel all these gross emotions that steal your joy.
Today I felt anger, frustration, anxiety, insecurity...all those nasty feelings that stifle your soul.
I came home feeling so unhappy. Even though I was excited to finally be home with Olivia, I still felt so worn down by the day.
I sat down at the kitchen table with Olivia next to me in the high chair. She was eating crackers. I watched her for a while, happily snacking. I leaned over to her and she held up a cracker to feed me. I opened my mouth to take it and she laughed so hard. She just giggled for what had to be two or three minutes. It was that deep belly laugh. In that moment it all clicked for me.
Life is so painfully short.
Yes, bad things happen. Crappy days happen. Crappy weeks happen. Mistakes happen. Misfortunes happen.
All those gross feelings I described earlier happen. I can't tell you how many times I've let my negative feelings win.
But that laughter...That laughter is one of the only things on this planet that matters to me. I can't allow the outside world to bring me to a place where I feel like I can't enjoy that laughter.
I need to remind myself of that more often.
Life freaking sucks sometimes. Your job sucks sometimes. Your family sucks sometimes. Your spouse might even suck sometimes. Don't let that determine the outcome of your day. You have control over the things that you let effect you.
Yes, I know that is totally easier said than done. I fail at this almost every single day. But, I'm trying.
It's a process. Take baby steps. Take things one bad situation at a time.
Process the negative things that happen to you and really think about how you want to react. Close your eyes and count to 10. Walk away. Do whatever it is that you need to do to maintain your balance and find your perspective.
At the end of the day, bad luck doesn't matter. Bad jobs don't matter. Car trouble doesn't matter. Arguments don't matter.
Bad times never last. They come and go just to remind us to appreciate the good things.
Tonight I decided to promise myself, and Olivia, that I will try harder. I will try harder to keep my head down and power through it. I will try to keep the negativity in perspective. I will try to enjoy life for the positives and the negatives. I will roll with the punches.
Baby steps. Baby steps.
We can do this Mama.
It's a bad day, not a bad life.
Try with me?