Howell, MI, USA

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Mom Friends VS. Non Mom Friends

December 24, 2018

My best friend Emily's birthday is just over a week away... As that day approaches, I've been really reflecting on our friendship and how it's changed and evolved over the 15+ years of knowing each other.

It all started in Mr. Swift's science class. Seventh grade was a rough year. It was that awkward time in life where you just wanted to be cool, but in all reality, you were the farthest thing from cool that you will ever be... 

 

I needed a pencil, and per the usual, I was unprepared, so I decided to ask the girl sitting next to me if she had an extra one. Before I knew it, we were chatting obscure bands that we both loved, and immediately, I knew she would be the friend I so desperately needed. 

 (8th grade graduation...I had the WORST haircut ever...)

 

And she was.

 

Emily was everything I needed, all at once. She was the same human as I was. Wise beyond her years. Hard working. Dedicated. Motivated. She knew life had more to offer her, just as I had felt. We bonded immediately over our urge to be better than what others expected of us. 

 

It's funny actually, because after a few years of being friends, we were so close, and spent so much time together, that my Nana actually thought we were lesbians hiding our secret relationship... which in all honesty, looking back I'd probably have thought the same thing!

Emily knew more about me (she probably still does) than any other human on this planet. She probably knows more about me than my husband does. She has kept my secrets, and helped me plan my world domination every step of the way. 

 

The best part about our friendship is that it has endured the totally opposite directions that Emily and I have gone on our own. Emily headed towards single gal success, making pharmacy school seem like a walk in the park (It's Doctor Emily now!), while I ran down the alter at 21, bought a house, and recreated the stereotypical suburban dream with a dog and a baby.

If I'm being honest, we are currently living completely different lives. But none of that matters. We still get together and pick up exactly where we left off. We still gossip about people we went to high school with, and laugh at the same inside jokes. We are still there for each other 100%, no matter what.

 All this reminiscing got me thinking about the difference between "mom friends" and "non mom Friends".

 

My mom friends just "get it". They get the boring day to day crap because they've experienced it first hand. They've had a babysitter fall through, or a massive diaper blow out in a public place. They've experienced the bizarre sense of sadness and satisfaction of your child hitting a milestone. The moment of realizing your baby is growing up. Mom friends just get it. 

 

But why am I hating on my non mom friends just because they haven't had those experiences yet? Just because Emily hasn't experienced a babysitter falling through, doesn't mean that she doesn't realize that it freaking sucks. Just because she doesn't have a baby that's growing up, doesn't mean that she doesn't understand and sympathize with the emotions that I feel about my little one growing up. 

My view on mom friends VS. non mom friends is total bullshit.

 

I am a really crappy friend for even thinking there is a difference. Friends are friends. Whether you are single or married, a parent or not a parent, old or young, rich or poor. Real friendship transcends all that lifestyle bullshit.

 

So to my amazingly, wonderful friend...

 

Emily... Girl....

 

I am so incredibly blessed to have you in my life. You are one of the smartest human beings that I know. You have an amazing soul. You're thoughtful and kind. You give more than you take.

 

I could not have picked a better person to be my child's God Mother. You will teach Olivia all of the things that make you and I such crazy humans. Crazy but wonderful. 

Thank you so much for sticking with me, even when I'm sure I wasn't always such a great friend in return.

 

 

 

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