Just Spit it Out Already

One thing I struggle with as a Mom is comparing my child to other kids that are at or around her same age... It kills me that I do it (not to mention the Mom guilt I have over it), but sometimes, as hard as I try, I just can't help it. I only have one child, so it seems natural to me to compare Olivia to other kids because I don't have any other way to gauge if she is on track and hitting her milestones as she should be.

With all this regrettable comparing, I've noticed a few things she seems to be ahead of the game on, like responding to emotional cues appropriately, or building and organizing things...but.... I've also discovered some things that I fear she may be delayed in picking up on... One of which, has been driving me f-ing crazy....

Olivia is so incredibly intelligent. She understands emotions and how people communicate them (ex. crying is sad, frowning is sad, smiling is happy, laughing is happy, etc.).... When you speak to her, she makes it very clear that she can and does understand what you are saying to her....She even uses hand gestures to effectively communicate....

With all of that, can someone PLEASE tell me why in the hell my kid will not just spit it out?

Everything is just baby babble.

I don't get it... She understands the words... She says the word "no" and shakes her head "no" like she's been doing it her whole life, but anything else....there's nothing...

She screams inaudibly, grunts, and whines, but that's about it.

I've tried everything that I can think of. We watch educational TV shows, read books, sing songs, repeat things slowly and clearly...We count, look at shapes and colors...I even took away her pacifier so she'd be more likely to talk without it in her mouth 24/7... but it's all for naught.

I can tell she wants to spit to out as badly as I want her to, but there's just some sort of disconnect between her brain and her mouth.

I hope I don't sound like a giant a-hole, but I just get so frustrated about it...I just worry that this falling behind is going to effect other aspects of her development... I feel like an idiot even saying that, but when we went to her 18 month pediatrician visit, even the nurse practitioner had me feeling like the worst Mom ever because Olivia doesn't quite have 10 words yet...

I think her exact words were, "If Olivia doesn't have more words by January, you should call us back so we can refer you to someone..."

Am I the only Mom that feels like a moron walking out of all the pediatrician visits? I always feel inadequate... Maybe I'm just too sensitive and insecure about my parenting skills.. who knows..

A lot of people have told me not to worry about it... She will talk when she's ready... Or once she actually starts talking, she'll never stop, so I should enjoy it now... Which, I totally appreciate the well meaning comments... but none of them make me feel better... None of them solve the problem... None of them ensure that my kiddo isn't falling behind..

So I wanna know...

When did you're little one start speaking? What do you think helped the learning process along? And if your kiddo was a bit delayed, how did they end up catching on? Did you do anything different?

Spam me with your tips!

I hope this post doesn't come off like I'm ashamed of Olivia, or that I think she's failing... It's actually more that I feel like I'm failing her... She deserves the best, and if I'm not giving her that, I need to figure out how to make sure she gets the best...

Welp... Stay tuned folks...