The Weird Sh*t Toddlers Do

Toddlers are little weirdos.

There. I said it.

Little freaking weirdos...

I've had a toddler for a few months now, and I finally came to the realization that everyone I know that has kids has lied to my face this whole entire time... Everyone says, "the newborn stage is the hardest. Once you get past that, the rest is a breeze"...

Bull crap. Total bull crap.

Now that we are past the newborn phase, I would KILL to go back!!

Yeah sure, sleep was a mythical activity that was rarely attained...And maybe pumping and feeding was a challenge, but I eventually figured out a system that worked for me.

At least I could put my kid down for a minute and know she would still be there in the same spot when I turned back around. At least I knew I could get at least one (and sometimes even two!) nap time break to get things done.

I don't know about you, but when my child was an infant, I definitely did not have to worry about her licking shoes or eating play dough. I also didn't have to worry about her running away from me when we're at a public place, or throwing a temper tantrum because she wanted to wear her winter coat and boots in the house while she watched a movie....

I just don't get it. Why do toddlers do these things???

Why, why, why?

Why do toddlers do such weird (and random) shit?

For example...

Why does my child like green beans yesterday, but is repulsed by them today?

Why does my toddler have a shoe fetish?

Why does my toddler watch the same shows and movies again and again and again, and each time it's like the first time she's seen it all over again?

Why doesn't my toddler nap?!? I'd kill for a damn nap!! TAKE THE FREAKING NAP!!!

I swear everyday is a new and bizarre discovery of weirdness.

And although my toddler is a little, weird, and crazy human who does things that make absolutely no sense whatsoever, I'm actually kind of jealous...

(Hear me out)

I wish I could do all the weird things that I have ever wanted to do without thinking twice. I wish I could give zero F's like my child does. I wish I had the guts to not care. Is my kiddo a little different? Sure. But her desire for weirdness is super entertaining, and I honestly look forward to documenting every single second of it to share it at her high school graduation or wedding... (Yep, I'm totally gonna be that Mom)

I just want to shout out every single toddler Mom that is out there, because this shit is rough...Arguing with a tiny dictator about wearing pants is rough. Trying to sneak those veggies into meals without tears and blood shed is rough... I see you Mama... And I promise you, we will get through this together...

What is the weirdest thing your kiddo has done lately?